No Apparent Input.

25Feb10

I’m, having issues with space.

With leaving it, giving it, living in it, acceptance of it…space and I do not agree.

It seems to want more give than I have, and I, not knowing how to ask, never take. Our relationship is completely unbalanced. Which isn’t surprising.

Most people when asked, “how are you?” “how are things going?” usually say good, regardless of whether or not that is truly the case. It’s refreshing when people don’t auto reply, and say something completely warranted to their current situation, feeling or status. Like,

I feel like crap. Things are shitty. Not that good, but thanks for asking.

Today I feel like crap. Today things are really shitty. I smiled even though I didn’t feel like it, and then put it away with the rest of how I was feeling. I climbed by myself, generally didn’t talk to anyone and really, just want to sleep until I feel like I can face what’s going on in the world with more than just a thread of determination and hope hitched on will.

Photography has become more important to me than writing. Climbing has become more important to me than making art. Graduating is now a means to an end, and I don’t really care what comes after. I just know it’s time to move on.

Moving on.